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Many well-known evil, racist gangs and killer cults erode the fabric of our nation and seek to oppress, divide, and erase us...but the biggest monsters hide in the shadows, waiting to strike! You know about the Klan, and Neo-Nazis,

but bet you never heard of these HORRIFYING HATE GROUPS...

The reviled ANTI-PIERCING LEAGUE stands against Americans' most fundamental and protected rights to piercing, scarification, and bloodletting practices. Formed in the 90s to oppose the trending emergence of ladies' nasal and eyebrow rings, this hate mob's list of no-nos has expanded over the years to include unnaturally dyed hair, occult-themed or generally shitty tattoos, and tramp stamps.

Like so many hardcore terror organizations, the APL relies on intimidation to put the pierced on the defensive, sponsoring legislation to increase workplace scrutiny, forcing employees to hide their holes to remain eligible for employment or, more significantly, government assistance. APL seek to put the

punctured back in the closet, rolling this country back to the 1930s (before all the guys in WWII got tats of girls and anchors). The APL lobbies for piercing and tattoo parlor zoning restrictions. and local ink and needle import limits.

They are also rumored to be developing an app that could be used against the pierced to deny them entry to public events or disqualify them from select insurance programs and home loans. The APL are even working to establish healing centers, which offer a private quarantine period to allow enrollees'

piercings to heal over, the porous' equivalent of conversion therapy. Many of these self-described Pureskins even oppose "traditional" womens’ ear piercing for their own ridiculous religious reasons. The League's stated stone-age belief that unimbellished women are superior is just another twisted version of male

supremacy; The APL clearly has a vision for a dark future, a virtual Handmaid's Tale of earlobes and noses. READ MORE IN OUR 2022 SPOOKTACULAR


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