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RECONSIDERING THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE

What if what seemed to be a steaming loaf of cinematic indie garbage was actually a brilliant statement about the system?!


Let us make one thing perfectly clear: we have never watched and will never watch Dutch import film The Human Centipede. And we don’t really care about the time-honored tradition of actually consuming the product you’re reviewing, because this one is really gross. Fortunately we’re also not journalists, so we have no shame about this. And yet through osmosis we have absorbed enough to generate this hot take. (Our illustrator Pester Pooch did watch trailers to prepare for this assignment, even though we warned him, and shortly regretted it.)

For those out of this poop loop, the movie is roughly about some mad scientist or something who sews a bunch of people together surgically, hopefully while sedated, in the manner suggested by our illustration but with less hilarious results (left).

Now, the natural reaction of a healthy and balanced mind to turdcore of this caliber is physical revulsion and withdrawal. There seems to be little to justify manifesting this sordid fecofantasy into reality on the material plane...


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