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2023 LOWLIGHTS: KENTUCKY FROZEN CHICKEN

LOWLIGHTS : DEC. 6, 2023 · FlipCityMag.com

Every year Flip City trots out our annual list of the worst of the worst of what we all wish wouldn't have happened this past year.


Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell made a habit this year of repeatedly freezing up during public speaking appearances, standing paralyzed, seemingly terrified, and staring silently into space as if time itself had stopped, leading many present to suspect he had suffered a stroke, seizure, or embellism.


Senator McConnell remains motionless for ten minutes at press conference.


Scientists have speculated that this "feigning stroke" reaction displayed by McConnell is actually a common mammalian fear-based response to overwhelming stimuli, not unlike a possum playing dead to repel a predator. "This defensive mechanism is a literal life-saver when a politician is asked difficult or embarrassing questions, or forced to regurgitate noxious or nonsensical public poilcy positions," said one behavioural expert.

In spite of this, to date McConnell still refuses to retire and leave the job of state leadership to someone who can maintain consciousness full-time.

 

It's Flip City Magazine's first special edition collection: THE PARODIES, with our timely take-offs and savage send-ups of Lord of the Rings; Stranger Things; Spider-Man; Star Trek: Picard; Hunters; The Mandalorian and much more, with some of the best Flip City artists.

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