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KIM JONG UN VS K-POP

Why the free world has no choice but to side with the tiny tyrant

This May, dinky dictator Kim Jong Un issued sweeping moratoriums on such Western indulgences as skinny jeans, lip piercings, slogan-emblazed tee shirts, and the apparently thriving mullet hairstyle, to counter Capitalist influence seeping into North Korea.

Now, much of this may sound palatable in these postmodern times. Weird piercings and colored hair routinely traumatize small children. Plus, there are far too many branded tees on the market, especially now that the print-on-demand industry has given us infinite choices, choices that the human race has as of yet failed to prove itself capable of handling. (Incidentally, you can get Flip City’s first original tee-shirt in our shop at flipcitymag.com/store.)

But sources behind the scenes say Kim’s real target is the noxious South Korean musical movement known as K-POP.

A little background: well, there’s a lot of bad blood left over from this big war the U.S. was involved in 70 years ago; but more recently in 2016, South Korea retaliated for chronic noisy nuclear weapons tests in the North by blasting K-POP music, notably the viral hit Gangnam Style, over the border.

Two years later, Kim paid lip service and pretended to be “deeply moved” by a live performance by Red Velvet, a K-POP girl group that we’ll just assume gave Kim a tiny boner in spite of being acoustically god-awful and unlistenable. But world-dominating sausagefest act BTS received no such slack, instead taking flak in insider Pyongyang communications...


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