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LOWLIGHTS AND LOWLIFES OF 2021

FLIP CITY Magazine brings your annual list of the worst of the worst of the year you're already ready to forget, all December long.

CHI-CLOWN:

Ignoring her city's record-shattering homicide rate, encaphalitic Chicago Mayor LORI LIGHTFOOT initiated a crusade in August against Chicago's historical statues and monuments,

inspecting them for minute traces and microscopic residue of racism, prejudice, etc., for the stated purposes of "racial healing and historical reckoning". Lightfoot's first move was stealing away with pre-vandalized and tagged statues of explorer Christopher Columbus in the middle of the night to the dismay of all descendants of Italian immigrants.

Chi-town's shrunken municipal head then formed a special commission, listing 41 statues in urgent need of review, placing a slew of white heads on the chopping block including George Washington, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Franklin statue, and to nobody's surprise, Abraham Lincoln. Even Norse explorer Leif Ericson hasn't been spared from the panel's cultural whitewashing campaign.

The committee promises to spend more of other people's money on woke art replacements commissioning exciting new artworks "that focus on a broader range of topics around COVID-19, inequality and racial reconciliation," possibly along the lines of this eight-ton near-replica of Lightfoot's hideous face recently installed in New York City.

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