WITH TRICON RESIDENTIAL SERVICES
Home ownership, like most forms of ownership, is inherently oppressive. It saddles you with responsibilities and costs that nobody should have to bear. A house of your own not only demands constant maintenance, from leaky pipes and roofs to clogged leaf gutters and overgrown lawns, but on top there are property fees and taxes to keep track of. Arrgh! Who needs the bother? Also, what's it like to your house to be "owned" like a slave? Fortunately, you can master the art of smart urban living like I did with the TRICON RESIDENTIAL LIVING PLAN!
All your property needs are covered when you apply for residence in one of TRICON's many nationwide locations. Your TRICON residential arrangement provides for thorough weekly safety and comfort inspections of your unit's interior and exterior, ensuring you never know the inconvenience of a broken toaster oven again. As you own nothing in your home, you have virtually zero responsibilities!
And, ALL your costs of living – from your cel phone bill to your weed – are handled and paid off automatically by TRICON from your TRICON digital currency credit account, supplemented weekly. You literally never have to think about or deal with money. And that leaves more time for things that really matter in life, like managing your current massively multiplayer online gaming campaign. Is this true freedom at last?! ...